A little less than two years ago, my husband and I booked a Grand Canyon rafting trip with 22 other people we had just met at the start of his business school program. Until the week or so before the trip and when we had to send deposits, I thought little about it.
But as life converged — our rafting trip, my last week at my current job, a huge order of swimwear, my husband’s graduation, a trip to Europe, him starting a new job, and moving into a new apartment all within 1.5 months — my anxiety decided it could do a better job managing stress than my rational brain. And visions of our rafting trip took on a grimmer picture — hypothermia from the 52 degree water, drowning, someone hitting their head on a rock after falling off the raft, our plane or helicopter crashing, constipation, not having gluten free food options, not fitting in with the group, sunburn, heat exhaustion, dehydration — you get the picture.
Well, none of that happened, of course. What did happen is that my stress-weakened immune system allowed a cold to settle in, I forgot both pairs of sunglasses at home, and I got a little bit of sun rash (a relatively normal thing for me). But something else happened too, a strange dichotomy of excess and deprivation.
On Friday we flew to Las Vegas where we met up with 22 other friends/acquaintances for two nights. Vegas is Vegas and there was pool time, loud music, hordes of people, excessive drinking for some, edibles for others, gambling, and lots of bright, blinking lights.
Keep reading here:
https://rebeccamlh.medium.com/fear-and-excess-3fa8d47e73